Closing Out Chile with Valpo & Lolla

While you may be wondering why we spent time with 2 animals named Valpo and Lolla, rest assured we did not. Working our way back up South America, our next stop was Valparaiso, affectionately known as "Valpo" by the cool kids. It's an amazing place: full of street art, sunshine, and pisco sours [a solid alternative to my beloved south sides]. We had 5 days of wandering, cocktail-ing, and sleeping in.

Our do-not-miss list in Valpo:

• The free walking tour around town. They leave at 10 and 3 each day, and just request that you tip the guide. It's fantastic.
• Delicias Express: best empanadas EVER
• Chinchinero: cheapest Americanos in town that are also #delish. Also, if you ask nicely, they'll make you eggs and toast for brunch for a cheap price even though they don't have a pre-lunch menu.
• Malandrino: to-die-for pizza. Order 1 pizza per person [no shame in that game].
• Cafe del Pintor: best for local food, both in price and quality.

Also, Ben decided to take the plunge in a poorly translated yet fantastical transformation: going from homeless to hipster in only 90 minutes. It was his first time in a legit barbershop (complete with barista), and he was not disappointed.

After an amazing time in Valpo, we spent a quick day in Santiago because Lollapalooza was happening! And we're young, and cool, and like music, so why not? [I'll answer that in a bit]. Lolla Chile is a wild place- not in the "wild" we're used to at music concerts, but in the bizarre experience kind of way.

First, we saw some awesome bands/DJs, as well as some not-so-awesome ones as you'd expect. There were 5 stages of music, with Pearl Jam as their Friday night headliner. Super great.

Second, and back to my original question, this is a goddamned dry music festival. You need to buy VIP tickets to drink, and then can only drink in the VIP area. We did not buy VIP, mostly because we did not know, but also because #principles. This is the second concert we have been to where they put the adults in a cage to drink beer, and allow the children to run amuck. (Seriously: there was a ball pit and slide, and guys walking around selling Pepsi. Also, I was the most overdressed lady [girl?] there because I was wearing a shirt. No joke.)

Let's cut to the chase: if you don't serve alcohol, your target demographic immediately shifts to 12-15 year olds. This is terrible. It's not so bad when the band is good, and you have enough space to move, but being sober and sandwiched in between 3 14-year-old-girls who insist on "whipping their hair back and forth" whilst listening to a mediocre DJ is not my idea of a great time.

[Edit]: To clarify, we fully support children's concerts, or events targeted towards children, but this was not that. Lollapalooza is not marketed as such- there is no indicator that this is an alcohol free event on their website. If the idea is to have a youth concert, that's totally cool, but they should tell folks that.

I'm not sure when 12 year olds became more lucrative than beer, but, needless to say, we had a hilarious lesson in what being old feels like.