Sambas and Struggle Buses in Sao Paulo

After our favorite people left us for the real world, we headed back to Sao Paulo for an entire week with a primary goal of getting on top of some adult stuff (taxes, post-trip planning, job interviews, event coordinating, etc.), and wrap up planning for our big Patagonia hike coming up. We figured a big city would give us easy access to all-things convenient (coffee, WiFi), while giving us enough to explore.


Long story short: total fail. We picked the wrong country to try to adult in (I'll get into that a bit later).

That being said, we still found some AWESOME stuff in Sao Paulo. Here are our favorites:

1)  A pop-up burger place in a car repair shop. I had the most amazing Bali burger on a rye bun, and Ben had a traditional burger (paired with beers). We have no idea what it's called, or when they're open, but we found them on Thursday and Friday afternoons (12-3ish). They're located here and a DO NOT MISS if you're in Sao Paulo! (No pics of this because unplugged adventures are good for the soul).

2) Vila Butantan: Basically the millenial mecca. It's a shopping center formed out of shipping containers, with tons of food options (from Mexican to poke to gelado and everything in between), craft beers, and small shops. The vibe was awesome- we ended up here twice!

3) A Brazilian Blowout at Laces and Hair, one of Brazil's top salons. It included a welcome shoulder massage, so basically I was sold upon arrival. It was not cheap, but such a great experience. They don't speak English, so just swing in if you want an appointment. They did a "diagnosis" that included looking at and measuring my hair, and recommended many treatments ($$$$$). I asked them to pick one, and returned later that afternoon for it. Since I haven't actually "done my hair" in 4 months, it felt good to feel pretty! Here's a before and after:

4) Samba Saturday at Bar Samba: This, like the burger pop-up, is a 100% DO NOT MISS. They have a live samba band, and waitresses that walk around with beers. When you grab one, they tick it off on your card, and you pay at the exit. Beers were cheap, music was good, food was delicious, and it is a local party mecca. We went at 3, and it had already started.

Here are a few more things we enjoyed, but we wouldn't exactly put these in the "do not miss" category, so if you're low on time, we'd deprioritize them.

- Benedito Calixto Arts Market: This happens on Saturdays, so we headed over. It's a mix between a flea market and arts and crafts, with some cocktails thrown in there. We were happy campers.

- Iberapuera Park: This park is a beautiful haven in an L.A.-esque sprawling metropolis. The biking and walking paths are used heavily, and the lake is breathtaking. We ventured over here and enjoyed walking around and just enjoying the view.

- Batman Alley: The street art was cool to see, but it was all over the city too, so you won't miss much if you don't head down here specifically.

While we really enjoyed adventuring in Sao Paulo, it was hard. In fact, we agreed that Brazil is easily the hardest country we've navigated thus far (way harder than Africa or Nepal, even). These are some things that you couldn't have paid me to believe before experiencing it, that are worth knowing before you book your trip:

• The WiFi is Abysmal with a capital A. Even in Rio and Sao Paulo- two of the biggest cities in the world. Private WiFi routers rarely worked (and if they did, it was so slow it wasn't worth it), coffee shop (even at Starbucks) WiFi would just shut down sometimes (helloooo totally ghosting potential future job calls- not even kidding), and even the broadband sucked (Uber drivers would frequently just lose the route because their signal would drop). Do not plan on doing anything necessary here (you know, like interviews or taxes #fml).
• Getting a SIM card is next to impossible. We tried in Sao Paulo, Paraty, Rio, and again in Sao Paulo. We finally ended up with an expensive web-only version in Ben's phone on our 9th day in the country. It took us 2 hours at the booth to get it activated.
• They do have Uber, but it is super-glitchy, and has way fewer features. That being said, we used it extensively because it was still easier than trying to communicate with a cab driver.
• No one speaks English or Spanish. And (news to me) Portuguese is very different from Spanish. In every other country we were in, we could just point at what we want, but that wasn't something they were okay with here. They had a lower tolerance for our lack of knowledge of Portuguese, and would often just speak faster or louder trying to explain. We imagine this is how a non-English speaking person feels in Texas.
• Sao Paulo reminded us a lot of Los Angeles: it's sprawling, and getting anywhere is just a pain in the ass. We stayed in Butanta, which is only 3 miles from Jardins and Vila Magdalena, which are the happening parts of town, but it turned out that it's not a super-safe walk, and the drive was regularly 20+ minutes.

SO! We still recommend it, but pay the money and stay in Jardins or Vila Magdalena. Also a long weekend so you can get a taste of Samba Saturday is a must.